This one experience may not lead you to redefine your sexual orientation, but it does suggest some fluidity.Ĭlose friendships sometimes fuel romantic feelings that lead to sexual desire, but attraction can exist without you acting on it.įluidity, by definition, changes over time, so you could develop a similar attraction in the future. Eventually, you spend a little less time together, and your attraction fades, leaving you primarily attracted to women once again. Maybe you act on those desires, maybe you don’t. You think about kissing, touching, even having sex with them. Your physical and emotional closeness eventually lead to a crush. Then you develop a close relationship with a nonbinary friend. You’ve only ever felt attracted to women. The key word here is “most,” since you’ll probably have a few outlier experiences that fall elsewhere on the spectrum. If you’re sexually fluid, you might notice most of your sexual experiences and attractions fit under the label you use to identify yourself. “As a result of the stigma around fleeting same-sex attraction and consequences for that ‘betrayal,’ normal feelings of love and sex and curiosity often get swept under the rug, where the limits of Western societal norms keep them hidden,” explains Zogg.ĭoes it only refer to sexual orientation? He goes on to say people sometimes interpret fluidity as confusion, or betrayal of an allegiance to a specific community. “And fluidity and the presentation of sexuality vary widely across cultures, age, access, and region.” “Attraction is far more complex than many people can communicate,” says Zogg. “Fluidity is an absolutely normal aspect of sexual orientation,” explains Will Zogg, a Washington therapist who specializes in gender affirming counseling. These changes in how you experience romantic and sexual attraction are totally valid. After a few years, you felt most attracted to men again, but you couldn’t say for certain whether that would always be the case. Maybe you grew up thinking you were only attracted to men, until you had a few flings with people of other genders. Sexually fluid people tend to experience attractions at different points along the spectrum as they go through life. It can help to think of orientation as a spectrum that includes people of all genders. Yet there’s room for it to expand a little, based on your experiences and current situation. Yes, everyone has an underlying orientation - asexual, pansexual, or heterosexual, for example. Sexual fluidity, in short, means your sexual orientation isn’t permanently fixed.
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